The Time Has Come to STOP THE DIPPING

MEMO TO WESTBORO CHURCH OF FINE DINING MEMBERS The time has come to save this nation. We face a storm unlike any other. A storm of heathen cheese dippin', salsa pourin' swine. A storm that shakes our core beliefs in cuisine to the point of breakage. A storm... of nachos. The liberals would have y'all eatin' these soggy, tomato infested tortilla chips. The communist media would have all us all out in lines, in front of the local Taco Bell, beggin' for a 'nother bite of Santana's food. But we know the truth. For we have seen that God asks we do not mix the flesh of corn with the flesh or tomatos. We do not blend the flesh of flour with that of cheese. True chips are made from potatos. True chips ain't made from corn. True chips don't whore themselves out to salsa. True chips understand the sanctity of a relationship between potato, and salt, and sometimes even barbeque sauce and freedom onion dip. I never seen a Pringle cuddlin' with some salsa. I never seen a Lay's Potato Chip with melted cheese on it. It just ain't natural. And everything wrong with the world is the fault of nachos.